A poem I found some time ago

Shadow Dancer

I was there.

I was always there.

He didn't know me then,

and didn't realize who I was.

Just a shadow in his little boy dreams.

A spectral being in black lace,

come to caress his young, soft face.

He smiled in his sleep,unaware of the schemes,

that would end the joy that we had come to know.

Young and innocent,

he could not imagine how some

could hate me and my kind so.

I waited and abided my time,

for soon the awakening would be here.

He would gaze upon my face,

and would not be afraid to hold me in a friend's embrace.

We would stroll hand in hand,

kind and gentle,

through life's journeys together.

A friendship without end.

I would be free, and out of the shadows.

Alive and one, Finally able to play in the sun.

But in those dark days in the coming of age,

full of confusion, false starts and rage.

Alone and apart, we existed.

He loved and hated me at the same time,

what should have been ours,

he fought and resisted.

Heavy on him my urges did weigh.

Be gone, don't ever come back!

Those painful words I often did hear.

I would cry out to him, in anger and pain,

I can't, I can't, Don't you see?

We're brother and sister in the same place.

Look in the mirror, We have the same face.

No! No! He would shout and He would scream,

You're not real, You're nothing but a bad dream.

I am not a man, not just yet,

he said to me out loud with tears,

Streaming from our young eyes.

I'll tell you plain, and I'll tell you proud,

I'm going to be a man and lace just isn't allowed.

For years it went on like this,

him forever denying, and me always crying.

He was unable to lose me,

I was always there,

always at his side.

Insisting and pleading with him

forever offering my hand.

Begging him to accept me,

with all of my heart.

Learn about me from those of your kind.

We can exist together,

the way we were designed,

from here ever after,

this you cannot deny.

I am lonely and I am tired.

No longer defy me,

for it does us no good.

Here to stay,

I've always said.

Love me now,

pay no attention to what others may think.

Give me your heart,

and I'll give you mine.

Together the way it was meant.

We'll laugh and love,

and there'll be nothing left for you to resent.

And he finally, in this last year,

give up his fight and put a side the hate.

Willing to embrace My beautiful satin and black lace.

The healing has begun,

we are now whole.

Able to love myself,

as is my right.

One heart that beats strong,

no longer divided,

righting the wrong.

Finally able to face

what I should've always known.

I am Leah I am Leah. . . no longer alone. ______________________________________________________________________________ A poem written by Leah MacLean. I ran across this on the internet. It completely describes the feelings and what I have gone through for many years. But know I have faced it and will live as one together in happiness no matter what others may think. I am MistyG. . . no longer alone.

Moved

A few months ago I helped my parents remodel my Grandmothers house and they have since moved into it. My wife and I in turn moved in to their house. Which is now mine. This is all great as it is a good looking house and in good shape. For the most part we really like living here.

But here is the kicker. My parents and my youngest daughter now live with in shouting distance. You never know when one of them are going to drop in on us. Which is not a problem at all if they call first which they very rarely do. And to living out in the country , Most times they don't knock before entering, especially mom and pop. Usually my daughter calls before she comes.

None of this is a problem unless I happen to be dressed. Because of this I very rarely dress completely. I hardly get to put on make up or a dress anymore because it takes too long to get everything off in case some one drops by. Which with my parents at least one of them will come by on a daily basis. Unless they have to go somewhere.

My mom knows about my dressing but has never seen me when dressed. A don't ask don't tell situation. Probably my daughter knows too. Since my ex made sure that most people knew that I am a cross dresser.

I am fast getting to the point that I really don't care who comes in on me as long as I am dressed decently. Which is the case unless I just happen to be going thru the house for something. Most evenings though I do like to sit around and watch tv or read in my night gown and so does my wife. Most of the time I dress to some extent everyday. Usually in a pair of skinny jeans and a tee with panties and hose and most time a bra with small breast forms. I will a pair of heels most times in the house with a pair of womens New Balance 802 / 802 close by in case someone drops in. It is rare when I get to do makeup and wig unless we are going to go out somewhere.

Why do I Crossdress

Why do people crossdress wheiter male or female? ? Does anyone really know ! ! ! Personally I don't think anyone knows the answer to this question. If you ask this question to a thousand different crossdressersyou'll get a thousand different answers.

I have been crossdressing for almost 50 years and I still don't really know why I crossdress. I think it most likely started out as a fetish when I was younger. But as the years went on I discovered that it really had very little, if anything to do with sex. I hardly ever get aroused sexually when I dress anymore. But yet I dress almost everyday (night). I like the way I feel when I am dressed. I like trying to look the best that I can. Taking the time to really get a close shave and putting on makeup the taste the smell of it all. The way the clothes feel against my skin. There is nothing quite like the feel of silk or nylon against the body. To wear a dress or a short skirt and feeling that cool breeze blowing the tail of it up a little and the coolness against the body. ( What a feeling) Why should all of this be reserved for the women of our lives. I love this feeling as much as anyone male or female.

When I get dressed I feel so good and have a feeling of pleasure just knowing that I have made an attempt at perhaps improving my looks. Yes I think I look better when dressed especially when I take the time to carefully apply my makeup and fix my hair (wig). If my body was just shaped a little differently I don't think I would have any problems passing. (need to lose about 20 lbs) Another reason I enjoy getting dressed up is. I feel sexy not necessarily look sexy but feel sexy. If I have any house work to do. Ha Ha If. . . . I will always dress in a pair pantyhose a pair of cutoffs and a Tee with my favorite bra. Put on a pair of tennis shoes and I am ready to clean house. Or maybe sometimes I will put on a short denium skirt with a tank top. I don't mind cleaning house this way but I just can't get into cleaning if I am not dressed. Why…. don't ask me because I can't tell you. But to me this is a sexy look and feel that I enjoy.

One other reason that I think that I crossdress is. I like the way that a pair of lycra satin panties feel especially when they really fit. The tightness of a bodybriefer. That soft smooth feel of a pair of pantyhose or stockings against my legs. The feel of a short slip riding high up my thighs maybe even exposing the top of a pair of lace top stockings help up with garters. The really snug . . even tight fit of maybe a corset or waist cincher trying to hold in that spare tire around the waist.

These are just a few of the reasons that i would give for crossdressing. . . Why don't you tell me a few of yours.

Misty

Email MistyG215@gmail.com